Parasite Priestess

by Mourning After Pill

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about

Re-release of 2003 album, with added unreleased track from 2005.

credits

released August 7, 2019

All lyrics, vocals, music, artwork etc. by DJ Jinx

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all rights reserved

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Mourning After Pill Calgary, Alberta

A dark ambient / industrial project by DJ Jinx. Not active at the current time.

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Track Name: Priestess 1 (Omens)
(This track is atmospheric / instrumental, but contains samples from other tracks on the album)
Track Name: Prayers
When I was little I couldn’t sleep at night
I thought the demons were coming for me
Now I obediently seek an angel to take into my life
But still shadows of broken wings remain

Now I lay me down to sleep
Pray the Lord my soul to keep
But if no more I see the sun
I give my soul to the Fallen One

Holy beauty is never easy, they say:
Learn to accept the things you cannot change
Carry the stone long enough, and the friction
Of your pace will polish it until you love its burden
But they forget that you will be worn down as well
Broken down and recycled like so much waste
Our perfect facets may outshine suns
But we are so much less than we used to be

Their sacred word is compromise
But my prayer is one of indulgence
My path, they say, is choked with thorns
It can end only in solitude, or in an unclean embrace.
They glare at me and mark me as a proud whore
One’s whose punishment comes with the end of night
Still I will see if my happiness can be found
At the hands of someone other than my foretold murderer

I have bloomed, but still I cannot sleep
A wingless ultimatum hangs over me this hour:
The quest for heaven begins now in earnest
And its failure can end in but one vile embrace.
Track Name: Thrice Blessed
They say that I’ve become debased
They say that you bear the gift of grace
They say I must look beyond your face
And they call you an angel
They say it’s true you have your flaws
They say at least you have no claws
They say I must obey their laws
And they call you an angel

All of them are just like you, running in this race
Must each and every one of you have my embrace?

You may be pure and as white as snow
Yet I’m soiled by your touch wherever I go
You may be thrice blessed in all that you do
But the angels below are much stronger than you

True, you have come from a world of light
True, you are all that the world calls right
True, you will not let me out of your sight
And they call you an angel
But so typical is your need for the sun
So typical your hesitation
So typical when from me you run
And they call you an angel

Don’t stare at me if you cannot speak
Don’t slur your words when you try to shriek
Don’t glare at me when it’s you who’s weak
Though they call you an angel
I will not listen to foolish odes
I will not reap of the seeds you’ve sowed
I will not give you my secret code
Though they call you an angel

All of them are just like you, trying hard to prove
But when the demon speaks to me at least he speaks the truth
Track Name: A Star Far Distant
The first time I saw you I didn’t know what to think
Could there really be something different about this one?
Your wings are not as white as the rest of theirs
Instead, orchid feathers recall obscene flowers
They are uneasy around you,
For your stars are far distant from theirs
You with your flowing raven hair,
Hardened mask of face
Who is this stranger?
This vagabond guardian of the feral places?
Must I trespass on dangerous ground
If I wish to trace the outline of your wings?

Your eyes provide me a sign,
The sign which is taboo to speak of
My savior, is it really you?
Now it is I who have wings
Haloed by crimson tides of flame
This is one of the darker corners of paradise
Where you and I secretly entangle our gazes
What else may become tangled between us?
I see you as a dark opal
A distant star that cannot grind me down
Could this be my sublime awakening
Where I realize there is room in heaven for me afterall?

Your words are prophecy to me
I will follow where you ask me to
Lightyears long is the path to your abode
Perhaps paradise is wider than I believed
One day we shall meet there, upon that furthest star
Until then I shall carry the burden of mystery
It is a ware stone, ever heavier with each step
And as I walk, the demon inside will watch me
Ready to escape through my mind’s eye with my first tear
But I will prevail
That you might peer beneath my veil
And that I may come to comprehend
The holy complexity of your actions
To read the too-subtle movements of your hands
And to discover what it is that you keep locked
Inside your opaque cage of heart
Track Name: My Stalking Destiny
I ascend upon the lightning
To a plane of holy bliss
The perfection of your kiss
Sanctuary
I settle down in heaven
My calling now fulfilled
A cage of golden gild
Sanctuary

I shall imagine that my quest is complete
And tell myself that I perceive no deceit

A priestess and her angel, wrists bound with skeins of faith
You tell me "We're in paradise, and here you will be safe."
How I wish I could believe you - how I wish that it were so
But the gloom of heaven's alleys hides a stalker whom I know

The demon will not leave me
Persistent enemy
My stalking destiny
Revelation
His whisper is a warning:
Betrayal and intrigue
My blindness under siege
Revelation

Yet still I go about my holy routine
And never think to ask my angel where he's been

A sound within your sanctum
No answer when I call
Her shadow on the wall
Anathema
Entangled in her gambit
The mantis' sweet embrace
Revealing my disgrace
Anathema

For now I know that I was blind not to see:
Although I chose my angel he did not choose me

How I wish I could believe you, but I know my destiny:
From the gloom of heaven's alleys the seducer beckons me.
In the gloom of heaven's alleys my defiler waits for me.
Track Name: The Parasitic Need
Craving for stability
Why can’t you finally put out the light?
Closed-in domesticity
Why won’t you come and celebrate the night?
Wearing chains submissively
Why won’t you massacre the queen of spite?
Sell your soul so carelessly
Why can’t you cut away your parasite?

Call yourself a master
But you are just a slave
Thinking you’re a rockstar
When drugs are all you (really) crave

Giving up so easily
Why won’t you ride upon the wind of black?
Blaming it on destiny
Why can’t you find the will to turn your back?
Dying voluntarily
Why can’t you see all of the things you lack?
Stealing pleasures secretly
Why won’t you cut her leeches off your back?
Track Name: Blighted
Afterward, I feel I owe you an apology
A weak remedy for my blighted words
There should be no questions of ownership here
Isn’t this supposed to be heaven?
Only the demon would hold me on a leash
But it’s never as easy as that

Things have fallen into disarray here
Your abode and my mind,
Both have become adorned with decay
Together we try to walk forward
But our blighted limbs always crawl, back the way we came

I gaze sadly at the shattered vessel between us
What is white seems tarnished
And what is black shines beckoningly
Like untouched snow
But the snow has been touched,
Blighted:
That is what you chant to me in your sleep:
How could I presume to understand
When I have lain safe inside the earth
While you must struggle with lights that may blind you?
I have always walked alone, dreaming of what inward devils may come
While you are assaulted by the murderous imps of reality
Screaming at you like crazed fans;
They adore their superstar even as they shred his clothes
And blight his skin
What do I know of these things,
I who have yet to be taken under an angel’s wing?

I regret that the cutting of flesh with flesh is only figurative
Now I cannot bear to meet your taboo gaze
Nor the mantid stare of she who, praying, preys
I have become withered,
Blighted
Weaker even than I thought you to be
Bleeding to death slowly, perhaps
Crippled hands no longer greedy
Shallow as an ancient shell,
I become small and transparent
I seethe with silence
I almost disappear

But please, please don’t send me away
Track Name: A Pill-White Day
Today
I’ll try to reach your high
Take the mindway to the sky
Learn how hard it is to fly
Today
I’ll taste your every pain
High on your divine cocaine
Comprehend the beast insane

I will bring you sacrifice: a mind to flay
I will take your sacrament: a pill-white day

At dusk
I’ll taste your sweet inside
Take the stage, a midnight ride
See just what the strobelights hide
At dusk
I’ll try to wear your skin
Bear the madness of your grin
Salve the wound with heroin

Tonight
I’ll try your manacles
Hunting like a cannibal
Swallow so mechanical
Tonight
I’ll taste your bloody wine
Swallow down this holy sign
Your addiction shall be mine

I will show humility: a lack of light
Total Need will close my eyes: a pill-black night
Track Name: Total Blindness
I think I’m going blind
Collapsing down into the labyrinth-depths of your drug
I feel ahead in terror of what I may find
Corpses lie in the dust
Crowned with dead flowers
And when the wind blows
The bones begin to rattle a song that will destroy us both

I think I’m going blind
Locked inside my cell of flesh
Smothering in pallid webs
How willingly I let myself be entangled
I am the one who is weak:
I see now how little I understood
How little of you there is to go around
And how little of me there is to take you in
I see you lying here
Contaminated in a way I can’t explain
Broken feathers float down upon my skin
Shatter me
Like the fragile cocaine invention I am

I think I’m going blind
I feel my way to the center
Steps slow with sickness
But worms ate the core long before I arrived
This is an airless place, without sun
The foul tendrils spawned here
Will uproot your every pillar
And strangle my desires in the womb

What did I expect to find?
Hope, a chance to escape my fate?
A tomb
The demon is stalking patiently behind
Heedless now of the pentacle I drew in my mind
The fallen angel laughs at me

I think I’m going blind
The door has disappeared behind me
And now I can’t find my way out
A trip gone unspeakably bad
A trick that I can no longer play
I cry for help
But you are just as helpless as I am

And the demon reaches out his hand
It does no good to beg for mercy
When soulless things have caught your scent

I think I’m going blind
Run in fever’s slow motion
Lungs full of glass as I come up for air
But there is nothing to breathe but dust
Total Need has incinerated everything
My very soul is blacking-out
I cannot follow the words you say
Every curve is a nightmare
And every spiral undoes a dream

I think I’m going blind
But then, there’s nothing left to see
The constellation of addiction enslaves us all
And its evil stars are all we can find

I think I’m going blind
Track Name: Ask And Ye Shall Deceive
Such magic webs we weave
In such tragic webs we lie
Ask and ye shall deceive
From your chamber comes a sigh
What more can I believe
when the blowing snow obscures
Ask and ye shall deceive
And now there is no cure

This trap I cannot leave
I cannot be sent away
Ask and ye shall deceive
The predawn light is so gray
What more can I receive
when all of you is within
Ask and ye shall deceive
And nothing lives but sin

I believed that you would be my angel cold and black
Now I see that he was only waiting to take me back

Always looking up above for what can only be found inside
My savior betrays me again, again I’m cast aside
Always seeking forever what can only be had for awhile
I am left for dead again, again the rapist smiles

From your chamber she will leave
And walk out into the sun
Ask and ye shall deceive
Still I kneel before your gun
How many more will you receive
I reject the words you say
Ask and ye shall deceive
And still I will obey

All my life with no reprieve
I never could discern
Can’t tell those things that soothe and breathe
From those that only burn
Never did I once believe
that I wore the addict’s face
Ask and ye shall deceive:
My angel, my disgrace
Track Name: Embraced By The Fallen One
In defeat I lie with you
Slave to slavery
Now I hear the evil one,
Whispering my name
A footstep on the threshold
The lock falls into place
Petrified by sorrows
I only lie in wait

Black-winged fallen angel
I know you’re here for me
On my throat the razor
But I will not resist
Shattered like an icon
I feel him turn my head
He kneels down beside me
And whispers in my ear:

"I am your messiah when you are alone
I am your redemption when your will is gone
I am your salvation when your eyes are shut
I am your defiler, kissing as I cut."

His fingers are so gentle
As he inflicts his curse
Inside me he is twisting
The entry wound complete
Lying underneath him
As blood and venom mix
My heart unravels slowly
And turns upon itself

Constriction of my breathing
My heart can barely beat
The doors of skin torn open:
Inside is only meat
A crimson tide is ebbing
And all shall fade away
For as you lie there sleeping
The ravisher will slay

"I am your messiah when you’re on your knees
I am your redemption; all you have is me
I am your salvation, when your heart is numb
I am your defiler; your only chosen one."
Track Name: Priestess 2 (Desecration)
(This track is atmospheric / instrumental, but contains samples from other tracks on the album)
Track Name: The Maggots
Sharing needles to inject love’s hate
Paradise has been deformed
A contagion lives in each of us
Soon a triage to perform
For I see now how I’ve sold myself
Wearing garments of a saint
Secret places have been vandalized
With this indelible taint

My remission will come at the granting of your/her grace
But infection returns when his wings cover my face

Cut me open now and look inside
Charred and poisoned through and through
Every broken heart pumps cyanide
But the maggots may surprise you

Maimed and rambling I try to scream
Monsters rising in my wake
They were brought into this world by me
Prostituted for his sake
All the angels cast away their wings
Your mortality revealed
And I watch the mantis shed her skin
Underneath was someone real

I once dreamed that she was choking me
But the fingers were my own
Love’s survivors huddle close for warmth
Crippled priestess walks alone
One dark angel still remains with me
Madness guilded with disdain
Now his parasites are all I have
Vermin breeding in my veins
Track Name: Destroying Angel (2005 Demo)
Shred these deceiving veils
Slice away the clever disguise
Cut deep to defuse this trap
In every flower, the worm of blight

So chop down this twisted tree (this twisted tree)
Never mind the blood at its roots (blood at my roots)
In your eyes I see the end of all things (apocalypse)
And in your mind, a toxic light (an obscene sight)

There is no future, no forgiveness, no deliverance
Here in the crosshairs of your gun
There is no mercy in the violence of your measurement
Where justice and judgment become one

The laughing womb betrays (we’re all the same)
Kills time with empty joys (nothing inside)
So with your blade, abort the child (this girl must die)
Damaged goods and broken toys (make true your lies)

Wearing your father’s crown
Shining brighter than the sun
Now every shell lies crushed
Mother lying in the dust
Punished for her every crime (your every crime)
Violated through and through (revenge for you)
Cast aside like so much trash (freedom realized)
Sterilized and burnt to ash (your soulless eyes)

Your temporary sanity
Was purchased with these screams

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