Parasite Priestess

by Mourning After Pill

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1.
(This track is atmospheric / instrumental, but contains samples from other tracks on the album)
2.
Prayers 04:26
When I was little I couldn’t sleep at night I thought the demons were coming for me Now I obediently seek an angel to take into my life But still shadows of broken wings remain Now I lay me down to sleep Pray the Lord my soul to keep But if no more I see the sun I give my soul to the Fallen One Holy beauty is never easy, they say: Learn to accept the things you cannot change Carry the stone long enough, and the friction Of your pace will polish it until you love its burden But they forget that you will be worn down as well Broken down and recycled like so much waste Our perfect facets may outshine suns But we are so much less than we used to be Their sacred word is compromise But my prayer is one of indulgence My path, they say, is choked with thorns It can end only in solitude, or in an unclean embrace. They glare at me and mark me as a proud whore One’s whose punishment comes with the end of night Still I will see if my happiness can be found At the hands of someone other than my foretold murderer I have bloomed, but still I cannot sleep A wingless ultimatum hangs over me this hour: The quest for heaven begins now in earnest And its failure can end in but one vile embrace.
3.
They say that I’ve become debased They say that you bear the gift of grace They say I must look beyond your face And they call you an angel They say it’s true you have your flaws They say at least you have no claws They say I must obey their laws And they call you an angel All of them are just like you, running in this race Must each and every one of you have my embrace? You may be pure and as white as snow Yet I’m soiled by your touch wherever I go You may be thrice blessed in all that you do But the angels below are much stronger than you True, you have come from a world of light True, you are all that the world calls right True, you will not let me out of your sight And they call you an angel But so typical is your need for the sun So typical your hesitation So typical when from me you run And they call you an angel Don’t stare at me if you cannot speak Don’t slur your words when you try to shriek Don’t glare at me when it’s you who’s weak Though they call you an angel I will not listen to foolish odes I will not reap of the seeds you’ve sowed I will not give you my secret code Though they call you an angel All of them are just like you, trying hard to prove But when the demon speaks to me at least he speaks the truth
4.
The first time I saw you I didn’t know what to think Could there really be something different about this one? Your wings are not as white as the rest of theirs Instead, orchid feathers recall obscene flowers They are uneasy around you, For your stars are far distant from theirs You with your flowing raven hair, Hardened mask of face Who is this stranger? This vagabond guardian of the feral places? Must I trespass on dangerous ground If I wish to trace the outline of your wings? Your eyes provide me a sign, The sign which is taboo to speak of My savior, is it really you? Now it is I who have wings Haloed by crimson tides of flame This is one of the darker corners of paradise Where you and I secretly entangle our gazes What else may become tangled between us? I see you as a dark opal A distant star that cannot grind me down Could this be my sublime awakening Where I realize there is room in heaven for me afterall? Your words are prophecy to me I will follow where you ask me to Lightyears long is the path to your abode Perhaps paradise is wider than I believed One day we shall meet there, upon that furthest star Until then I shall carry the burden of mystery It is a ware stone, ever heavier with each step And as I walk, the demon inside will watch me Ready to escape through my mind’s eye with my first tear But I will prevail That you might peer beneath my veil And that I may come to comprehend The holy complexity of your actions To read the too-subtle movements of your hands And to discover what it is that you keep locked Inside your opaque cage of heart
5.
I ascend upon the lightning To a plane of holy bliss The perfection of your kiss Sanctuary I settle down in heaven My calling now fulfilled A cage of golden gild Sanctuary I shall imagine that my quest is complete And tell myself that I perceive no deceit A priestess and her angel, wrists bound with skeins of faith You tell me "We're in paradise, and here you will be safe." How I wish I could believe you - how I wish that it were so But the gloom of heaven's alleys hides a stalker whom I know The demon will not leave me Persistent enemy My stalking destiny Revelation His whisper is a warning: Betrayal and intrigue My blindness under siege Revelation Yet still I go about my holy routine And never think to ask my angel where he's been A sound within your sanctum No answer when I call Her shadow on the wall Anathema Entangled in her gambit The mantis' sweet embrace Revealing my disgrace Anathema For now I know that I was blind not to see: Although I chose my angel he did not choose me How I wish I could believe you, but I know my destiny: From the gloom of heaven's alleys the seducer beckons me. In the gloom of heaven's alleys my defiler waits for me.
6.
Craving for stability Why can’t you finally put out the light? Closed-in domesticity Why won’t you come and celebrate the night? Wearing chains submissively Why won’t you massacre the queen of spite? Sell your soul so carelessly Why can’t you cut away your parasite? Call yourself a master But you are just a slave Thinking you’re a rockstar When drugs are all you (really) crave Giving up so easily Why won’t you ride upon the wind of black? Blaming it on destiny Why can’t you find the will to turn your back? Dying voluntarily Why can’t you see all of the things you lack? Stealing pleasures secretly Why won’t you cut her leeches off your back?
7.
Blighted 03:20
Afterward, I feel I owe you an apology A weak remedy for my blighted words There should be no questions of ownership here Isn’t this supposed to be heaven? Only the demon would hold me on a leash But it’s never as easy as that Things have fallen into disarray here Your abode and my mind, Both have become adorned with decay Together we try to walk forward But our blighted limbs always crawl, back the way we came I gaze sadly at the shattered vessel between us What is white seems tarnished And what is black shines beckoningly Like untouched snow But the snow has been touched, Blighted: That is what you chant to me in your sleep: How could I presume to understand When I have lain safe inside the earth While you must struggle with lights that may blind you? I have always walked alone, dreaming of what inward devils may come While you are assaulted by the murderous imps of reality Screaming at you like crazed fans; They adore their superstar even as they shred his clothes And blight his skin What do I know of these things, I who have yet to be taken under an angel’s wing? I regret that the cutting of flesh with flesh is only figurative Now I cannot bear to meet your taboo gaze Nor the mantid stare of she who, praying, preys I have become withered, Blighted Weaker even than I thought you to be Bleeding to death slowly, perhaps Crippled hands no longer greedy Shallow as an ancient shell, I become small and transparent I seethe with silence I almost disappear But please, please don’t send me away
8.
Today I’ll try to reach your high Take the mindway to the sky Learn how hard it is to fly Today I’ll taste your every pain High on your divine cocaine Comprehend the beast insane I will bring you sacrifice: a mind to flay I will take your sacrament: a pill-white day At dusk I’ll taste your sweet inside Take the stage, a midnight ride See just what the strobelights hide At dusk I’ll try to wear your skin Bear the madness of your grin Salve the wound with heroin Tonight I’ll try your manacles Hunting like a cannibal Swallow so mechanical Tonight I’ll taste your bloody wine Swallow down this holy sign Your addiction shall be mine I will show humility: a lack of light Total Need will close my eyes: a pill-black night
9.
I think I’m going blind Collapsing down into the labyrinth-depths of your drug I feel ahead in terror of what I may find Corpses lie in the dust Crowned with dead flowers And when the wind blows The bones begin to rattle a song that will destroy us both I think I’m going blind Locked inside my cell of flesh Smothering in pallid webs How willingly I let myself be entangled I am the one who is weak: I see now how little I understood How little of you there is to go around And how little of me there is to take you in I see you lying here Contaminated in a way I can’t explain Broken feathers float down upon my skin Shatter me Like the fragile cocaine invention I am I think I’m going blind I feel my way to the center Steps slow with sickness But worms ate the core long before I arrived This is an airless place, without sun The foul tendrils spawned here Will uproot your every pillar And strangle my desires in the womb What did I expect to find? Hope, a chance to escape my fate? A tomb The demon is stalking patiently behind Heedless now of the pentacle I drew in my mind The fallen angel laughs at me I think I’m going blind The door has disappeared behind me And now I can’t find my way out A trip gone unspeakably bad A trick that I can no longer play I cry for help But you are just as helpless as I am And the demon reaches out his hand It does no good to beg for mercy When soulless things have caught your scent I think I’m going blind Run in fever’s slow motion Lungs full of glass as I come up for air But there is nothing to breathe but dust Total Need has incinerated everything My very soul is blacking-out I cannot follow the words you say Every curve is a nightmare And every spiral undoes a dream I think I’m going blind But then, there’s nothing left to see The constellation of addiction enslaves us all And its evil stars are all we can find I think I’m going blind
10.
Such magic webs we weave In such tragic webs we lie Ask and ye shall deceive From your chamber comes a sigh What more can I believe when the blowing snow obscures Ask and ye shall deceive And now there is no cure This trap I cannot leave I cannot be sent away Ask and ye shall deceive The predawn light is so gray What more can I receive when all of you is within Ask and ye shall deceive And nothing lives but sin I believed that you would be my angel cold and black Now I see that he was only waiting to take me back Always looking up above for what can only be found inside My savior betrays me again, again I’m cast aside Always seeking forever what can only be had for awhile I am left for dead again, again the rapist smiles From your chamber she will leave And walk out into the sun Ask and ye shall deceive Still I kneel before your gun How many more will you receive I reject the words you say Ask and ye shall deceive And still I will obey All my life with no reprieve I never could discern Can’t tell those things that soothe and breathe From those that only burn Never did I once believe that I wore the addict’s face Ask and ye shall deceive: My angel, my disgrace
11.
In defeat I lie with you Slave to slavery Now I hear the evil one, Whispering my name A footstep on the threshold The lock falls into place Petrified by sorrows I only lie in wait Black-winged fallen angel I know you’re here for me On my throat the razor But I will not resist Shattered like an icon I feel him turn my head He kneels down beside me And whispers in my ear: "I am your messiah when you are alone I am your redemption when your will is gone I am your salvation when your eyes are shut I am your defiler, kissing as I cut." His fingers are so gentle As he inflicts his curse Inside me he is twisting The entry wound complete Lying underneath him As blood and venom mix My heart unravels slowly And turns upon itself Constriction of my breathing My heart can barely beat The doors of skin torn open: Inside is only meat A crimson tide is ebbing And all shall fade away For as you lie there sleeping The ravisher will slay "I am your messiah when you’re on your knees I am your redemption; all you have is me I am your salvation, when your heart is numb I am your defiler; your only chosen one."
12.
(This track is atmospheric / instrumental, but contains samples from other tracks on the album)
13.
The Maggots 05:34
Sharing needles to inject love’s hate Paradise has been deformed A contagion lives in each of us Soon a triage to perform For I see now how I’ve sold myself Wearing garments of a saint Secret places have been vandalized With this indelible taint My remission will come at the granting of your/her grace But infection returns when his wings cover my face Cut me open now and look inside Charred and poisoned through and through Every broken heart pumps cyanide But the maggots may surprise you Maimed and rambling I try to scream Monsters rising in my wake They were brought into this world by me Prostituted for his sake All the angels cast away their wings Your mortality revealed And I watch the mantis shed her skin Underneath was someone real I once dreamed that she was choking me But the fingers were my own Love’s survivors huddle close for warmth Crippled priestess walks alone One dark angel still remains with me Madness guilded with disdain Now his parasites are all I have Vermin breeding in my veins
14.
Shred these deceiving veils Slice away the clever disguise Cut deep to defuse this trap In every flower, the worm of blight So chop down this twisted tree (this twisted tree) Never mind the blood at its roots (blood at my roots) In your eyes I see the end of all things (apocalypse) And in your mind, a toxic light (an obscene sight) There is no future, no forgiveness, no deliverance Here in the crosshairs of your gun There is no mercy in the violence of your measurement Where justice and judgment become one The laughing womb betrays (we’re all the same) Kills time with empty joys (nothing inside) So with your blade, abort the child (this girl must die) Damaged goods and broken toys (make true your lies) Wearing your father’s crown Shining brighter than the sun Now every shell lies crushed Mother lying in the dust Punished for her every crime (your every crime) Violated through and through (revenge for you) Cast aside like so much trash (freedom realized) Sterilized and burnt to ash (your soulless eyes) Your temporary sanity Was purchased with these screams

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Re-release of 2003 album, with added unreleased track from 2005.

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released August 7, 2019

All lyrics, vocals, music, artwork etc. by DJ Jinx

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Mourning After Pill Calgary, Alberta

A dark ambient / industrial project by DJ Jinx. Not active at the current time.

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